Clash of the Titans!

Titans will clash! And Sam Worthington will refuse to do away with his Australian accent! Here's the mini-review: Actually, I don't think these are all that mini anymore...


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Name is way too long so I'll be referring to it as 'CotT' occasionally. Clash of the Titans is a revisit to the good old days of action-packed blockbusters with decent actors and no substance. Saying that, Clash isn't for those looking for an intelligent, stimulating, dialogue-ridden adventure. Rather, it's a movie that's all about the CGI and all about the action. If you didn't know already, CotT is a remake of an 80s film starring Harry Hamlin.


Firstly, the story: Clash covers the journey of Perseus, a demigod and son of Zeus, who survives an attempted murder; recovered in the sea by an old fisherman and his wife, he lives a simple life with his adoptive family. However, when his family are killed by Hades, the ruler of the Underworld, Perseus embarks on an epic quest for revenge - you know the deal.


Now, I'm going to tell you what's good. The action sequences are filled with immensely gratifying CG. It's great, it really is. There are some absolutely beautiful set pieces and some of the camera shots are nothing short of epic, paralleling to the Lord of the Rings films. The characters are for the most part likeable; Gemma Arterton is totally hawt as Io, and the other side characters are also quite humorous and convincing. The soundtrack is really nice, although it never varies too much and sticks to the basic theme song. 


The story, however, is a bit of a grey area; while it certainly does improve on the story of the original CotT, the fact remains that the original never really focused on plot - you might scoff if you saw the film today, but back then the original actually was a special effects extravaganza. The addition of Hades to the fray adds a nice touch, especially because Ralph Fiennes is absolutely fucking menacing as the god of the Underworld. There are large political allegories going on (the whole 'damn the gods' tag-line is pretty self-explanatory), and it's a relief that this time around the titans actually do in fact clash (unlike the original, where you're just left going 'Why is it even called Clash of the Titans?'). Overall, the story is decent, but because of the complicated nature of the supposed Greek mythology it'll be kind of hard to follow to those who aren't familiar with the events of the original. 


The bad parts? Well, the script is occasionally weak, but it's passable. Unfortunately while the action scenes would have been really good, they're hindered by some ridiculous camerawork which at times might leave you just a little confused. However, the most surprising part comes here. I'll talk about Sam Worthington a bit later - I want to talk about Liam Neeson. I love Liam Neeson. He's great. WONDERFUL, in fact. But in this, he is an absolute douche. He plays Zeus, and he is seriously the silliest character in this movie. You know the 'RELEASE THE KRAKEN' line from the trailer? Well he sounds like a freaking idiot when he says it in the movie, because there is NO REASON to say it that loudly, I swear that line was written solely for the trailer. I don't know what he was doing here; I just don't think he's fierce enough for Zeus to be honest. It doesn't help that his armour looks completely ridiculous. Onwards, I want to point out that the Medusa fight scene was a disappointment. It was really really intense in the original, but it just fell flat in this film despite the brilliant set. 


Onwards to our Sam! Okay, I like Sam Worthington. He seems like a really nice guy. Let's face it, he, along with Anton Yelchin, saved Terminator Salvation from being a downright flop; that was pretty much his big break, and he took it with vigour. He wasn't half-bad in Avatar either. However, this is something that will plague him in the future; his inability to get rid of the accent. Someone tell me, WHY would Perseus, a Greek demigod, sound like an Australian!? Quite frankly, half the time he sounds like a modern day Greek with that heavy-ass fusion of an accent, but I'm pretty sure that back in the day they did NOT talk like that. Also, his performance was kind of wooden. Granted, the script didn't really give him that much to do in terms of dialogue, however it doesn't seem like he really tried to be too dynamic either. However he was impressive in the fight sequences, especially the ones involving Calibos, so that was good. I'll give him a bit of a break; he nailed it two out of three times, and that's a good start for him. I'll leave my criticism with this; Harry Hamlin's Perseus from the original kicks Sam Worthington's' ass; he just said his lines better. 


Here's the part that makes me angry. 3D. Fucking 3D. This movie was optimised in 3D only four months before it was released. Greedy bastards are just hogging the extra funding for the 3D ticket, because frankly, 3D is just a gimmick unless it gets A LOT of work. Like Avatar. That was nice. CotT's 3D however, is absolute shit. The first half of the movie has some decent 3D. The second half of the movie has none at all. So fuck you movie studio, because you just gave us absolutely no 3D where the action sequences are. All the glasses do is dim the movie most of the time, ruining the epic panoramic shots. Jesus, and you can't even take them off, because then the screen is all blurry because of whatever the hell they do with the 3D film. This movie would have been doubly better in 2D. So there you have it; if you have the choice, see it in 2D. I unfortunately, did not have a choice.


So, overall... Clash of the Titans is good fun. There are some very nice action sequences, however lacking a bit of polish. The acting is good, only let down a bit by Worthington and a little moreso by Neeson. The plot is fairly involved, although it isn't told very well. Again, the CGI is absolutely brilliant, with some amazing set-pieces and well choreographed battle sequences. 


A recommended watch if you just want a good time; go into this one in what I like to call 'Michael Bay Mode': expecting a movie with all action and no substance. 3/5.